Independent Women

Dear Men,

 

Just food for thought about independent women.  

There is so much negativity spoken about independent women that needs to be spoken on.

I ask that you swallow your egos and preconceived notions about independent women and remove the "independent" and simply see them as women. The majority of the time her independence and strength is what drew you to her in the first place.

Yes, independent women can and do handle things on their own. What you should do is ask yourself what put them in a position to be so independent? The majority of the time the reasons fall back on what a man did to them, how a man treated them, or how men react to them.

The term independent woman, instead of being appreciated and honored, it is looked down on, judged and easily discarded. Most times its because the men who approach them aren't actually ready for a woman who wants a man but doesn't live in the NEED a man mentality. 

Most of us became independent as a result of something traumatic in our lives and we realized that our mistake was relying on a man. We were put into situations that didn't allow us to roll into a ball in the corner and cry or feel sorry for ourselves until a new man came along and solved our problems. We had to put on our big girl pants and do things for ourselves, knowing if we failed we were the only ones to blame or if we succeeded we were the ones to thank. Our success or failure completely relied on our resilience as women and mothers, our strength to accept and overcome obstacles, our ability to keep going no matter what stood in our way. We had to learn to fix things around the house (if we didn't already), manage being strong yet nurturing to the children and find ourselves all over again. We had to start from scratch and learn the hard way that the one person we could rely on is ourselves and then try to build a circle of people around us that valued us for that. 

Independent women WANT a man who will add to our lives, not take away from it. We want a man who can show us what a man should be, a man who leads without controlling, loves without conditions, encourages without judgment, communicates with complete honesty, protects without aggression, honors without issues, a partner in everything and leads without demanding. The biggest thing to realize is the difference between WANT and NEED. Need implies we are less than without and want implies a desire to have or be with. It is not an insult when a woman says I don't NEED a man, I want a man. It is simply stating we want someone who is going to add to what we worked so hard to achieve, not someone who is going to just come in and reap the rewards of our hard work without adding to it so the results can multiply not deplete. 

If you are not mature or ready enough for an independent women, don't look down on them like they are at fault, look in the mirror instead and see the truth instead of your ego. Not every man is ready for a woman who can handle things on their own and that's OK, just realize the short coming is not the woman's independence but it's your lack of the courage and strength she had, to make her that way.